Sunday, May 26, 2013

Older Child Adoption from the Child's Point of View

"Wenxin, suppose you had a chance to talk with a Chinese boy who was about to be adopted. Suppose you had a translator to help you. What would you tell that boy about adoption? What would you want him to know?"

Quiet. . . He's thinking. . . carefully choosing his words.

Finally, the answer comes -- in a voice from the backseat that sounds innocent and small.

"I would tell him that the new parents might be mean, or they might be nice. There's really no way to know."

And that was that.

It's not exactly what I thought he would say.

Is it just me, or does this blow anyone else away?

Shared at Wild & Precious and at  Emily's blog.


  1. We just came home last Sunday with our almost-8 year old son....As we've tried to acclimate to no-hotels, no-buffet-or-restaurant-eating, scaled-way-back-electronics...I've wondered if our son doesn't think this very thing, minute to minute. :(

  2. Wow that sure is a thinker. Hope he tells you one day that you're the nice parents...

    1. Actually, it made me feel good that his response wasn't some canned "adoption is wonderful" speech, glad that he didn't try to say what he thought I might want to hear. I really try to encourage all my kids to think for themselves.

      But I was also sobered at the truth of what he shared. Our adopted kids have had little choice in what has happened in their lives and honestly, they probably had very little info going into adoption. It might be good. . It might not. . . and there was really no way for them to know.

      I'm pretty sure he thinks we are the "nice" type. : )

  3. He couldn't have said it clearer. It's a complete unknown for those poor kiddos. Some are blessed with wonderful families and others not.... and there is nothing for them to go by to know which way it will go for them... whew! how scary and traumatic it must be.

  4. i love how he paused, before answering. and i love how you gave him the chance to respond to such a question. bless you friend!

  5. I think you have more patience to handle a situation like this. By the way hope you can be a good parent to him.


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