Sunday, January 6, 2013

Blogaholics Anonymous & Calling Guest Bloggers

 I'm a blog addict, an information junkie. I read decorating blogs, home organization blogs, adoption blogs, political blogs -- anything that makes me learn or think or laugh or grow.

You may have noticed that I tend to like edgy posts -- things that force my thinking out of my comfort zone. If you've noticed that, you are correct.

I think it's especially important for us as parents to continue to learn and grow and have our thinking challenged. I'm convinced that listening to others, often  people I don't totally see eye to eye with, has made me a better person and a better parent.

So here are my selections from this week. Some are sweet. Some are a little confrontational. All are worth reading. Enjoy.

Joshua - Moving Forward - This post made me smile. . . and want to jump up and down . . . and cheer. Adopting a child with life-theatening special needs is like volunteering to have your heart broken. Jennifer Peterson shares a story of hope where there wasn't supposed to be any hope at all.

Social Justice and the Ban on U.S. Adoptions - One blogger's analysis on the recent ban on Russian adoptions from the U.S. Lots to think about here.

Hope after Russia's adoption ban: Adopting justice - How we can help Russian orphans in light of the ban.

Desperately Seeking Birthmother - Is she a birthmother, or just an expectant mother? Words matter.

Jackson, On Telling Children They Were Adopted - Short and sweet from the mouth of an adopted child. Sometimes kids have a way of getting to the heart of things.

Calling Guest Bloggers

This year I’d like to run a series of guest posts by adoptees called On Being Adopted. Would you help me spread the word to any adoptees who might be interested in submitting posts?

Through, this series, I want to help us see adoption from the perspective of the adoptee.
Here's all the info a potential guest blogger might need.

I’m looking for guest posts which:
·         Tell a personal story that illustrates some aspect of your experience as an adoptee. I know that your adoption experience is many-faceted and complex, but please choose one aspect to focus on in your post.

·         Are 500 – 900 words in length

·         End with the statement: One thing I’d like adoptive parents to know is . . .

·         Pieces previously published on your personal blog may be submitted as long as they are tweaked to fit the above guidelines.
As far as topics go, the list of possibilities are endless, but here are some questions that I, as an adoptive parent, would love to see addressed:

·         How did being adopted affect you at different stages of development? Especially, how did your experience of being adopted change as you entered your teen years?

·         What challenges has being adopted present for you in your adult years?

·         If you are in reunion, could you tell a story that illustrates some aspect of that experience?

·         If you were adopted internationally, have you visited your birth country? Could your share a story that illustrates some aspect of that experience?
I believe there will be great interest in this series. I hope I will receive a variety of submissions that taken together will help paint a picture of the adoptee experience, promoting understanding and perhaps, dispelling some myths.

Please send submissions to You may simply type your submission in the body of the email or attach it as a Word document. 

Please edit for grammar, punctuation, and spelling. I will not be able to use submissions that require extensive editing. I do reserve the right to make minor grammar/punctuation/spelling edits. I will not, however, edit your content in any way.

Submitting a post, does not guarantee that it will be published at Death by Great Wall. I will, however, respond to all submissions within two weeks.

Shared at Faith Filled Friday.


  1. Hi Dana, I am interested in submitting. I have recently started a blog about my life as an adoptee at I haven't done much with it yet, but writing a post for you could help me get the ball rolling!

    1. Emily - I can't wait to read your post!

  2. You are promoting adoption, instead of using the funds to keep families intact. Also by promoting international adoption, you are promoting that Americans turn their backs on many children that need mentors and families in their own country. You are also promoting that children be taken away from their culture and ties to their families. Adoption is not about making families, it is about tearing families apart and forcing children to live with new identities and altered birth certificates, I know because I am an adult adoptee that has been denied my original birth certificate and a door to my roots.

    1. I can only speak for myself, but I don't really see myself as promoting adoption. Let me share a little more about what I believe and why I blog. I blog to paint a picture of what older child adoption looks like in real life. I adopted an older child from China, and I do have a heart for waiting older kids both at home and abroad.

      Most older children available for adoption, both domestically and internationally do not have any biological family they can go to. (I say "most" because I know there are some exceptions to this, and if parents are giving up their children because of extreme poverty, then yes, I think every effort should be made to keep the original family intact.)

      Many of our older internationally adopted kids have medical conditions that make them unadoptable in their birth countries at this time. My son is from China. Today, more and more Chinese couples are adopting domestically, and I think that is a move in the right direction. But unfortunately, these couples prefer healthy infants - just like most couples who adopt domestically here in the U.S. Older children with medical needs grow up in institutions. In a country that highly values family connection, these children have an "orphan" stigma attached to them the rest of their lives.

      Here's where I stand on the issue of adoption. I think the best thing for any child is to stay with his birth family provided it is safe and loving. I think that the next best thing would be to be adopted by a biological family member. If no family member is available, I think the next best thing would be to be adopted domestically, remaining in the child's birth culture. If that is not possible, I think it would be best for a child to be adopted internationally. I believe that a family in another culture is better than life in an institution, hands down.

      I hear the hurt in your writing and I want you to know that I support your right to your original birth certificate and to know all information that is locked away somewhere about your roots.

      Believe it or not, you and I would probably agree on more things than you think. But I disagree that adoption is always about tearing families apart. When a child has already permanently lost his birth family - for whatever reason - adoption can be a compassionate response to that tragedy.

    2. Graceful reply Dana. I share your sentiments.

  3. Well said, Dana. Adoption can be a compassionate response to that tragedy. It is traumatic under all circumstances to lose your biological family. My heart hurts for all of our children who live with that loss and who must learn to come to terms with who they are because of the loss. We honor birth parents and birth families around here because without their gift, we would not have met these amazing people who we call family.

    PS. Thanks for giving Joshua a shout-out. I will be using your phrase "volunteering to have your heart broken" some day. He is so worth it.

    PPS. The Social Justice piece was fascinating and gave me a lot to think about. Great links this week.

  4. I'm so excited to have talked with 4 adoptees who are interested in writing posts for this series. Can't wait to hear their stories.


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